Sad today :(

This has not been a good week. I'm super-frustrated. I KNEW what we signed up for when Joshua joined the Army. I KNOW that the Army doesn't care one bit about our wishes. But that doesn't mean I know how to be happy about it. Joshua graduates in a week. He still doesn't have orders. His roommate sat around for over two months after graduating before he got orders. Since we still have no idea where we're going, or even WHEN we're going to be there, I can't look at schools (most of which have application deadlines quickly approaching), I can't look for jobs, I can't look for housing, I can't even reserve a moving truck or give our storage unit notice. I am a super-planner; I am addicted to making lists and covering all my bases. I feel like this move is just going to come upon us so quickly that I won't be able to do it correctly. I am so nervous about all of it.

There are just so many things contributing to my frustration. I miss Joshua. This whole single-parenting thing is SUPER hard. I'm only working one day a week, so I have very little spending money. I'm trying to maintain the A's I have in all of my classes so that I can try and get some scholarships to cover my last semester of school. I feel like I have pressure coming from all angles, and I can't get out. The last time this happened, I let the depression take control, and everything unravelled and fell apart. I just need to push through it. I know I can get through it, and six months from now I'll completely forget about this.

And it doesn't help that I'm not losing weight. I need to adjust my diet, but that is SO time-consuming. Time is something I don't have oodles of right now. Maybe when school is over in a couple of weeks. It just seems like it's ALWAYS "maybe when...". I'm sure I'll eventually get it together, just not today.

I'm BAAAAAAACK!!!!

So...it has been FOREVER since I've been on here, but I'm needing to unload, so here it goes...

Let's see. The last time I was here, my husband (Joshua) had been laid off. Well, the job market in San Angelo isn't exactly stellar (as it is in most places, I'm sure), and he had been talking about reenlisting active duty for some time, so he joined... wait for it... wait for it... the ARMY! Yeah...my husband, the Marine, joined the Army. He wanted Intelligence, specifically Linguist, but since he was prior service, they only offered him lame-o jobs. He decided to go with 25U, or Signal Support Systems Specialist. He signed his contract and left MEPS on Dec. 24, 2008. He's been at Ft. Gordon in Augusta, GA ever since. He's just about to graduate AIT, but he doesn't have orders yet, so we don't know when or where we're going for our first duty station. So now I'm an Army wife. I'm pretty excited.

As far as school goes, I've been plugging along. Since we're moving, I'm not going to be able to finish my degree at ASU. I've been looking at online schools, and am leaning toward Ashford University. If everything works out with them, I could have my degree by the end of the year, which would be AWESOME!  :)  Also, if we find out where we're going to be stationed soon enough, I'll see if there's a school in the area and apply there. I'm just REALLY ready to be done with school and start a career. I'm tired of Joshua being the only one working. I'm not feeling very productive lately. I feel like a huge mooch.

So losing weight...yeah...not really happening. I've been working out regularly. I've even gotten to the point where I want to workout and actually miss it if I don't workout for a couple of days. I joined Gold's Gym. I workout with my brother everyday, and that's pretty cool. We've been hanging out a lot since Josh has been gone. So I've been working out, but haven't lost anything. I got down to 233, but I'm back up to 250. I know it's my diet. I don't eat enough. I only eat like twice a day. I'm going to try to see a dietician whenever we get to our duty station...I'm so friggin frustrated with it. I've talked to one of my doctors about the possibility of either lapband or gastric bypass surgery, but I'm not sure. I kind of feel like those options would be giving up, like I'm not strong enough to do it on my own...but maybe I'm not...I just don't know.

I've decided to keep up this blog, because it will be a good way to keep my family up with what's going on while we're away.