Sad today :(

This has not been a good week. I'm super-frustrated. I KNEW what we signed up for when Joshua joined the Army. I KNOW that the Army doesn't care one bit about our wishes. But that doesn't mean I know how to be happy about it. Joshua graduates in a week. He still doesn't have orders. His roommate sat around for over two months after graduating before he got orders. Since we still have no idea where we're going, or even WHEN we're going to be there, I can't look at schools (most of which have application deadlines quickly approaching), I can't look for jobs, I can't look for housing, I can't even reserve a moving truck or give our storage unit notice. I am a super-planner; I am addicted to making lists and covering all my bases. I feel like this move is just going to come upon us so quickly that I won't be able to do it correctly. I am so nervous about all of it.

There are just so many things contributing to my frustration. I miss Joshua. This whole single-parenting thing is SUPER hard. I'm only working one day a week, so I have very little spending money. I'm trying to maintain the A's I have in all of my classes so that I can try and get some scholarships to cover my last semester of school. I feel like I have pressure coming from all angles, and I can't get out. The last time this happened, I let the depression take control, and everything unravelled and fell apart. I just need to push through it. I know I can get through it, and six months from now I'll completely forget about this.

And it doesn't help that I'm not losing weight. I need to adjust my diet, but that is SO time-consuming. Time is something I don't have oodles of right now. Maybe when school is over in a couple of weeks. It just seems like it's ALWAYS "maybe when...". I'm sure I'll eventually get it together, just not today.

I'm BAAAAAAACK!!!!

So...it has been FOREVER since I've been on here, but I'm needing to unload, so here it goes...

Let's see. The last time I was here, my husband (Joshua) had been laid off. Well, the job market in San Angelo isn't exactly stellar (as it is in most places, I'm sure), and he had been talking about reenlisting active duty for some time, so he joined... wait for it... wait for it... the ARMY! Yeah...my husband, the Marine, joined the Army. He wanted Intelligence, specifically Linguist, but since he was prior service, they only offered him lame-o jobs. He decided to go with 25U, or Signal Support Systems Specialist. He signed his contract and left MEPS on Dec. 24, 2008. He's been at Ft. Gordon in Augusta, GA ever since. He's just about to graduate AIT, but he doesn't have orders yet, so we don't know when or where we're going for our first duty station. So now I'm an Army wife. I'm pretty excited.

As far as school goes, I've been plugging along. Since we're moving, I'm not going to be able to finish my degree at ASU. I've been looking at online schools, and am leaning toward Ashford University. If everything works out with them, I could have my degree by the end of the year, which would be AWESOME!  :)  Also, if we find out where we're going to be stationed soon enough, I'll see if there's a school in the area and apply there. I'm just REALLY ready to be done with school and start a career. I'm tired of Joshua being the only one working. I'm not feeling very productive lately. I feel like a huge mooch.

So losing weight...yeah...not really happening. I've been working out regularly. I've even gotten to the point where I want to workout and actually miss it if I don't workout for a couple of days. I joined Gold's Gym. I workout with my brother everyday, and that's pretty cool. We've been hanging out a lot since Josh has been gone. So I've been working out, but haven't lost anything. I got down to 233, but I'm back up to 250. I know it's my diet. I don't eat enough. I only eat like twice a day. I'm going to try to see a dietician whenever we get to our duty station...I'm so friggin frustrated with it. I've talked to one of my doctors about the possibility of either lapband or gastric bypass surgery, but I'm not sure. I kind of feel like those options would be giving up, like I'm not strong enough to do it on my own...but maybe I'm not...I just don't know.

I've decided to keep up this blog, because it will be a good way to keep my family up with what's going on while we're away.

When it rains...

it really freakin pours.

My sister-in-law was nearing the end of her first trimester when she lost the baby yesterday. She's actually doing okay, but we're all really sad for her and my brother-in-law. They were so excited about it.

**You guys are in my prayers!**

I'll update later. Suffice it to say that I've been a little stressed the last week. I feel like I could just sit down and cry for days. Geez I need sleep.

Way to throw a wrench in everything!

So my husband was laid off today. It's stupid. I know we'll be okay, but damn. I guess life has been going entirely too well lately.

Weight is very slow to come off, but weightwatchers online is going pretty well.

My workouts have been random, but I'm trying.

Josh and I sat down this weekend and created a good schedule for our family to get on, but who knows what's going to happen now.

Oh well...we'll just roll with it like we normally do.

I'll try to get more in this weekend.

This week's update

Just a quick update: Last week went okay. I was having a lot of "female" problems, so I didn't get to work out very much. But, I started Weight Watchers online, and that's going pretty well. Yesterday was horrible. I stayed up really late Sunday night studying for tests in both of my hard classes. Grrrrr, they were hard. I'll be lucky if I pass my income tax test and I'll be happy with a B on my accounting test. I really feel like I'm spreading myself too thin. I'm just really not sure what can get cut???? Anyhow, I've been gaining weight the last couple of weeks. I'm sure it's a combination of my sporadic exercising and lack of sleep and female crap. I'm up to freakin 253 :P

But, I'm starting off today trying to get back into "the swing of things." I'm going back to Wk 1 D 1 of couch to 5k and Wk 2 D 1 of pushups. We'll see how that goes.

Hope all is well with you guys.