Sad today :(

This has not been a good week. I'm super-frustrated. I KNEW what we signed up for when Joshua joined the Army. I KNOW that the Army doesn't care one bit about our wishes. But that doesn't mean I know how to be happy about it. Joshua graduates in a week. He still doesn't have orders. His roommate sat around for over two months after graduating before he got orders. Since we still have no idea where we're going, or even WHEN we're going to be there, I can't look at schools (most of which have application deadlines quickly approaching), I can't look for jobs, I can't look for housing, I can't even reserve a moving truck or give our storage unit notice. I am a super-planner; I am addicted to making lists and covering all my bases. I feel like this move is just going to come upon us so quickly that I won't be able to do it correctly. I am so nervous about all of it.

There are just so many things contributing to my frustration. I miss Joshua. This whole single-parenting thing is SUPER hard. I'm only working one day a week, so I have very little spending money. I'm trying to maintain the A's I have in all of my classes so that I can try and get some scholarships to cover my last semester of school. I feel like I have pressure coming from all angles, and I can't get out. The last time this happened, I let the depression take control, and everything unravelled and fell apart. I just need to push through it. I know I can get through it, and six months from now I'll completely forget about this.

And it doesn't help that I'm not losing weight. I need to adjust my diet, but that is SO time-consuming. Time is something I don't have oodles of right now. Maybe when school is over in a couple of weeks. It just seems like it's ALWAYS "maybe when...". I'm sure I'll eventually get it together, just not today.